today's heart to heart talk with Nas, was sorta emotional.
I said things that i never even thought about.
It just formed into words as if i've wanted to say it all along.

and i teared in the train.
fuck.
lucky no people then, heng!

i didnt know i was too obvious that she could read me, without me saying it.
she knew how i felt without me even knowing it myself.
its cos, as i said, we were in the same boat.
we felt the same things when we were younger.
we envied, hated, hoped, wanted the same things too.
but it was always stolen, taken away.

i didnt want to see things as it is.
but what Nas said, its true, even i know it.
i just didnt wanna acknowledge it.
and i probably never ever will.

selfish, that i am.
sorry to say.

its so not fair.
i fucking wanted to beat the hell out what u call fair.
if i could, i'd torch it alive.
thinking bout it hurts to the mother fucking core.

great, now i'm a mother fucking emo.
kay, stopping now...

now, im doing what i should.
what i always have been doing.
smile, and pretend.
easiest way to be happy.
:)

best.
i miss that feeling i had once before.
:)

FINALLY GOT MY PAY!
which means...

number 1: GIVE MOM

of course la.

number 2: PAY OFF MY DEBTS

haha. thats right. i do pay off debts okay!!
and yes, i do owe certain people...
but, now, DEBT FREE! v(>_^)

i've seen my friends and family always having a hard time cos they've got people owing them.
and those people just tried avoid paying off their debts.
idiotic bastards.
owe people, then run off with their money?
make people miserable for what??

number 3: SHOPPING LO

ahaha. its a necessity for females to have a little bit of retail theraphy.
and i usually do it with Nas.
shopping BUDDY.

ah.. but, kinda dangerous ah, shopping with her.
within one day.. i could spend quite a lot..
thats why we only do it once a month!
smart right......

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
so went shopping with Ju, Nas and Mard.
Bugis only.. buy um... *ahem* certain stuff ah.
not fit to let the public know at the moment.

then off we went for Sheesha.
damn funny la the girls, having a go at sheesha.
though they tried it before, its still funny seeing them struggling HAHA.
ah.. funny sia.

then Nas coaxed... no, FORCED ME, into watching a midnight movie.
a HINDUSTAN midnight movie.
a first for me. <-- HAHA ya..
i felt out of place seh haha.
like, not really OUR AREA, if u get what i mean...
LOOOL

hmm but, the movie was nice~
DAMN FUNNY!
titled.. PREM.. something something.. heh

finished around 3am sia.
like, WHAAAT!
but hey, its Nas's first time having soo much freedom.
usually her mom wont allow her to stay out late.
her curfew is usually till 11pm.

then still walk back to bugis and eat MCDONALD BREAKFAST uh!
best! love McBreakfast!
and....we stayed till the first train starts for the morning.

by that time, we're all half dead.
we talked in slurs..
our body limped.
make-up smudged.
hair in tangles.
eyes half-closed.
and drooling.
okay, not drooling.

but as tired as we were, it was FUN.
and i wanna do it again!
maybe.. the hindustan movie too?

oh. and of course we took like, a million photos.
like, duh!
but its all with them.
cant upload yet shit!

TAKE THAT!

suckaaaaaaa~~~~

I woke up this morning, suddenly realising I got a tan.
I could see the tan line on my arm..
Dammit.

We went picnicking @ MarinaBarrage yesterday.
Were gonna celebrate Bahiyyah's bday in advance too.
And it was Mard's first time to the barrage!
She's a MarinaBarrage Virgin!
hahah

the sun seems promising.
the only regret was not bringing along a kite.
dammit.

we had fun though!
the photo-taking part was awesome.
we ate, got a free Apple Pie from the group next to us, watched the kites above, talked, sang, rant bout our angers, just, doing silly things.

the sun was glaring really really bright and hot though.
but it was worth it.
:]

waa..
people still freaking read my blog.
haha
and when u read, at least leave me something on my CBox la idiot.
ya YOU JAZ.

you going work soon, hectic life ah!
haha sad la.
cant really do what we usually did,
but work hard!

waaa sounds so sissy.



12th is coming! Putri's birthday!
i though of getting a swensen's icecream cake the cartoon ones..
already got her the present.
haha she's turning FIVE! WOOOOO~

i kinda love that game now.
ahaha.
oops.
v(x.x)/
its a secret~~~~

i just wanna say.. (to no one really)


I TRIED OKAY. REALLY DID. TRIED HARD.
ITS NOT EASY.
BUT PEOPLE CANT SEE.
BUT I'LL KEEP TRYING.
PERHAPS, THIS TIME, PEOPLE WOULD UNDERSTAND.
I WOULD CHANGE.


thanks. goodbye.
(i dont think i feel any better)
ahhh.
i want the raya photos.

Its the 1st of OCTOBER!
Means...KENNETH has left for UK!
to study! yes.. he can study!


we're suppose to see him off today.
we WANT to see him off.
but he doesnt want us to.
wont even tell me what time his friggin flight is!
i think its cos he might cry and he doesnt want us to see it.
ahh..kenneth.

"He's such a Bitch"- as Charmaine would say.
haha.
he sent me a "Adios, motherfuckers.." msg.
Nice.. so..Kenneth.

The last time we all saw him was the dinner we had with Susan and they all.
And Him, me and Jaz stayed till late playing pool and Lan.
and OMG kenneth suck at pool.
well, so do i but still..
He's suppose to come back in December or something.
That bitch, he'd better remember us till then.